Scalp the aged
After reading some of my blogs some people may think I'm an old mean gimp. I am not, I just have some random opinions.
My next installment is brief but serious.
What is it with old people.
I thought we were supposed to be the nasty generation, the rude ones.
This is not the case.
As I get older I am realising that old people really do suck. No jokes please.
I am sick of hearing that old people push in front of others in a queue just because they lived through a war. Old people who take up 2 seats on a bus when my pregnant wife has to stand the whole 45 minute journey.
I am sick of traveling at 45 MPH in the outside lane of a motorway because some 80 year old is driving there 2 seater BMW to church.
They don't say thank you when you let them out on the road. The never say thank you when being served in a shop. The tut if you should fart during bingo and worst of all they smell.
I am starting a training course on re-conditioning old folks. I have even devised a lesson plan highlighting the objectives and agenda.
09.00 - Registration and coffee
09.20 - Ice Breaker - Guess the age
09.45 - Presentation on Driving at more than 50mph
11.00 - Change the delegates bags
11.30 - Flip chart presentation on modern day manners
12.30 - Lunch - Mashed Veg and spam
13.30 - Bingo
14.30 - Video on how to wash
15.00 - Quiz on days topics to check understanding
16.00 - Care workers take delegates home
Cost - £ 100 each including lunch and refreshments.
Any takers let me know.
posted by The Chosen one at 5:44 PM
6 Comments:
hold on a second.
You lived in a place with a residential home downstairs. That is wrong on every level.
The smell of it.
I agree with your amendment to the lesson plan. Bingo is out. Makeover is in.
6:59 PM
Grippers, I love that phrase. Takes me back.
How strange for you. It no wonder you feel like shit sometimes, your probably mentally affected.
i'm still laughing at gripper.
8:27 PM
I think old people can be very rude, especially the rude old guy at Dublin airport who jumped the queue and manage to severely piss off everyone who was flying back to Cardiff.
But there are some good things about old people and i shall name them...
- Some old people are cute.
- Some old women have beards and they are funny.
- You've got to love 'Last Of The Summer Wine' and if you don't love it you have to at least respect it for longevity.
- Old people tell stories of yesteryear and are therefore good evidence for historians.
- Golden Girls...Classic American Sitcom "Picture It Sicilly 1928" Unbeatable.
- Spike Milligan. Growing old disgracefully was his way and what a legend he was.
- Cocoon. Two good films starring old people and Steve Guttenberg.
- If there were no old people then how could you put your 'Zimmer Strimmer' idea in motion.
All Im saying is that although I dont disagree with you. There are uses for old people. They may be rude and they may smell on occassions (usually of mints and piss) but there is a place for them in the World. Think of all the Tesco Free Bus drivers that would be out of work!
9:44 PM
He sounds like a real miserable old c***. Ha ha.
10:51 PM
its a deal then. OLD people can go.
thanks for the comments all.
look out for my next post. I will be covering the topic " Why are mars bars smaller"
8:11 PM
Why are Mars Bars smaller Antony? Why? Why? Why? (I am pointing two fingers at my eyes and looking very mean right now!).
On a serious note your blog is in demand and after a conversation with Princess Chloe this evening and one with my brother earlier today, it has been noted by your readership...your loyal readership, that you do not blog anywhere near often enough young man!
If you don't blog soon I shall be forced to wee in the kettle and I won't come to your birthday party (especially if there are no cheese and pineapple on sticks!)...
... A nice cup of wee anyone?
12:03 AM
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