Scalp the aged

After reading some of my blogs some people may think I'm an old mean gimp. I am not, I just have some random opinions.

My next installment is brief but serious.

What is it with old people.

I thought we were supposed to be the nasty generation, the rude ones.

This is not the case.

As I get older I am realising that old people really do suck. No jokes please.

I am sick of hearing that old people push in front of others in a queue just because they lived through a war. Old people who take up 2 seats on a bus when my pregnant wife has to stand the whole 45 minute journey.

I am sick of traveling at 45 MPH in the outside lane of a motorway because some 80 year old is driving there 2 seater BMW to church.

They don't say thank you when you let them out on the road. The never say thank you when being served in a shop. The tut if you should fart during bingo and worst of all they smell.

I am starting a training course on re-conditioning old folks. I have even devised a lesson plan highlighting the objectives and agenda.

09.00 - Registration and coffee
09.20 - Ice Breaker - Guess the age
09.45 - Presentation on Driving at more than 50mph
11.00 - Change the delegates bags
11.30 - Flip chart presentation on modern day manners
12.30 - Lunch - Mashed Veg and spam
13.30 - Bingo
14.30 - Video on how to wash
15.00 - Quiz on days topics to check understanding
16.00 - Care workers take delegates home

Cost - £ 100 each including lunch and refreshments.

Any takers let me know.

New Labour my arse!!!!!!

What is going on in the news with Mr Blair's lot.

If its not him and Gordon Brown fighting over something stupid like who has the best parking space its his number two admitting he has been shagging someone 24 years younger. Not that it bothers me about him going with a younger woman but, come on now,what is wrong with them.

I'm not looking to swing any votes here, besides, its only James who reads this. Politics has become so panto its silly.

I have a plan. At the next general election don't vote. Nobody votes nobody wins, simple.

Newspapers are also a victim of this heat, nuts, fhm fuelled society. The sun is as good as the National Enquirer these days. Not that it was ever any good. What I'm trying to say is all the real news is lost amongst the latest showbiz fashion, ignoring the fact that half of these idols are wearing dog skin or some gerbil shin. Who really gives a shit about Preston getting engaged. Don't get me wrong, I like Chantelle. Great story when she beat the other so called celebs but it happened months ago. In fact lets all live like it. Lets all hire agents and get them to release things in the press about us.

NEWS SENSATION!!!!!!
by Antony

Toddler Rhys has managed to go to bed for 2 consecutive nights without a nappy. Rhys, 2, said he was pleased to have lasted the night without wetting the bed and was looking forward to third installment when he returns home later this evening.

Rhys was attending a movie premiere in New York following his rise to fame recently. Rhys now famous of course for such words like - Actually, I was only Joking and Exhibition is enjoying his new found fame. He is linked with several other top celebs like Jordan and Jodie Marsh.

His single is out May 8th and his autobiography is available this Monday at all good book stores.

Like James said in a post earlier, Z list nobody's with dodgy hairdos and 15 minders. I think we should free all the little puppies and test cosmetics on these people. In fact I am so enraged right now I will list my celebs that I will dispose of for you. Feel free to add some of your own.

1. Shayne Ward
2.Paris Hilton
3.Rebecca whatsaface. The one who done Beckham
4.Britney Spears
5.Whitney Houston ( for being such a fucking fool)
6.Bobby Brown ( For letting her)
7.Sven and Nancy. ( What a pair of muppets)
8.Jade Goody

that's it for now. I have missed loads out but cant think of them.

Ciao for now brown cow.

Return of the Mac

I'm back folks and this time I have issues.

I have had some major problems blogging as if late.

Now I am back.

My blogs will not be very PC and could offend some people. At the same time it could enlighten some too.

I am going to use my blogs as a tool to share my thoughts with all. Well just JB really.

Back later.