You have a fantastic vagina!!!!!!

Wow what a big meal. I'm full now.

So lets get back to it.

Not quite sure how far I got upto last time but I will just start from here.

12:00am Saturday 12/08/06. We were sent home from the hospital as Sharon was not in established labor. I drive home and to be honest I am a little pissed off because I want it over for Sharon. Its typical, she has contractions all day and the minute we get to the hospital they stop. I tell Sharon to go to bed and try to sleep. Before getting home I stop at the 24 hr garage down the road to pick up some pain killers. What is it about 24 hr garages at that time of day. It was full of foul mouthed 16 yr old piss heads searching for a pot noodle and a crunchie to satisfy the munchies. The queue was huge, it was time for me to take some action. I spoke in my best Cardiff accent and said " O bruv, can I skip the queue, my bird is having nuff pain in the minge, labor an all tha". They responded well by saying " safe spa, nice one" So I jumped the queue and headed home.

Sharon tried to sleep but it was not happening, after 3 hours of pacing Sharon told me that she wanted to push. Enough now I thought, I called the hospital and away we went.

03.05am 12/08/06

We arrive at the hospital and are greeted by the fab midwife called Tatyana. She is a former Russian Olympic handball player. She was 3 days overdue on her first child. The other midwife was called Claire Bowden, fair play they were both fab. tatyana was the best because Claire reminded me of a child killer. Its amazing what goes through your head when you are really tired. They check out Sharon and establish she is 10cm dilated. They told me they could feel her moving at Sharons cervix. Enough info for me I thought.

Now to the title of the blog. Sharon is in established labor and pushing like a good one. Tatyana is sat at the bottom of the bed making notes, she looks up and says in the most serious tone " Sharon, you have a fantastic vagina" I look surprised but happy that she thinks these things. Fucking weird though don't you think.

For all of you that don't know, labor is broken into 3 phases.

Phase one - Early Labor - Contractions and such
Phase two - Delivery
Phase three - Delivery of the placenta - DON'T WATCH THAT BIT

We are now well into phase 2. Sharon is pushing away and Tatyana asks if I would like to cut the cord, I say of course you crazy Russian vodka drinking bitch. She also asks if I want to tell everyone what the sex of the baby is, I also agree.

4.30am - Its here. I am holding my wifes hand and after 45-60 minutes of pushing I actually watch the baby come out. I witnessed her first breath. WHAT AN AMAZING SIGHT. It is the most beautiful thing ever.Sharon was awesome, just amazing.

We had a girl, I could not believe it. I was so prepared for a boy. We picked Cai James as his name and I was getting the Liverpool shirt ready. When I saw her little bits I was so shocked I had to ask the muff loving midwife to tell me what it was.

She weighed 5lb 13oz. very small but perfect. Her name is Erin-Rose, that's one name. Rose is not her middle name. Rhys( my number one son) picked Rose.

I am going to attach a pic for a short time. This was taken seconds after the birth. My wife looks amazing!!!!!!

Enough for now, I am tired.

God bless you all.